Would you…

A) fly from Detroit to DC on the cheap in order to best keep your company afloat,
B) drive one of your company’s cars and use the event as free marketing,
C) don’t think twice about taking a private jet, because, come on, if you don’t do it the other CEOs are just going to make fun of you if you don’t, or
D) highlight the new concept car which literally uses hundred dollar bills for fuel and gets 0.1 miles to the Benjamin.

If you chose D, you are probably not too far from the truth. But the answer, of course is C.

Yeah.

I hope we get to keep the Big 3 around.

And here’s a tip, if you’re home offices are in Detroit, and your new CEO refuses to move his residence from Seattle, he’s not really committed to the cause and you probably shouldn’t trust him.

(moments later)

Me: No it’s not.

Here someone’s dumbass brother-in-law gives it a go. No fires to report, but I wonder how they’re going to pull the turkey out.

And here is a video from a fire department…

And from the Underwriters Laboratories, who refuses to endorse any turkey fryer.

#4 is “Free Money to Pay Your Bills”, AKA buy Matthew Lesko’s book. Shockingly, he basically got his start by plagiarizing the Catalog of Federal Domestic Assistance and making it readable. But his made me wonder about the morality, ethics, and legality of selling freely available government data. I ask because I’m relatively certain there’s an energy website which is willing to sell historic energy data… which is all freely available, but difficult to find, from the EIA. If they can do it, maybe I should do it, too.

#3 is Quixtar, AKA Amway with a website. I got a chuckle out of it because of a phone call I got several weeks ago.

One of my friends on Facebook is a guy I knew growing up. He didn’t go to my high school, and it may be 15 years since I’ve actually seen him. His parents always tried to be flashy and give of the impression of a high level of success. My parents always wondered just what they hell they were doing to afford that lifestyle, and their ugly-ass Jaguars. I didn’t give it too much thought until I saw this guy’s profile on Facebook.

The first red flag was raised when I saw that he majored in Mechanical Engineering Technology. I’m sure it’s a fine major, but it seems like it’s engineering for people who can’t hack it in engineering, i.e. technicians.

The second flag was from his claiming to own several businesses… without bothering to mention just what those businesses are.

I didn’t think about it too much at first. I reckoned his family probably had some businesses of which he’s a part.

So several weeks ago he gave me a call completely out of the blue. He said he was in DC and his girlfriend had suggested he look up friends who were in the area. I was unavailable, but I got curious. A few Google searches later, and, oh yeah, his businesses are undoubtedly Quixtar ventures. And his girlfriend has a business. And I bet his parents do, too.

From Cracked:

Quixtar says they are a multi level marketing company and not a pyramid scheme, which is like saying “call girl” instead of “whore.” If you think that’s harsh, here’s a legal expert comparing them to the mafia.

But at least the mafia makes money. The average monthly income from an active Quixtar “business owner” is only $115 a month. We don’t need a beautiful mind to know that $115 a month is a whole lot less than $250,000 a year. If you only worked 10 hours a week on your business you are looking at a return of about $3 an hour, or less than half the Federal minimum wage. But that’s OK, because you won’t need money after you’ve driven away all of the friends who used to go out with you by pestering them with sales pitches.

I reckon this guy will end up calling me again. I’m wondering how long it will take before he makes a sales pitch.