Nobrainer’s Think Tank

We all know that Republicans and right-wingers deplore all things Politically Correct. That is, it would seem, unless it is those right-wingers demanding correctness and sensitivity. You see, Rachael Ray, and you know that I hate Rachael Ray, appeared in a recent Dunkin Donuts commercial. In the commercial she was wearing a scarf. Apparently it was the kind of scarf that makes some Republicans go hyper-sensitive and forces their heads to explode.

Does Dunkin’ Donuts really think its customers could mistake Rachael Ray for a terrorist sympathizer? The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men.

Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin’ Donuts boycott.

‘‘The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,’’ Malkin yowls in her syndicated column.

‘‘Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons.’’

The company at first pooh-poohed the complaints, claiming the black-and-white wrap was not a keffiyeh. But the right-wing drumbeat on the blogosphere continued and by yesterday, Dunkin’ Donuts decided it’d be easier just to yank the ad.

Now certainly I can’t prove that Rachael Ray is a terrorist sympathizer, but it’s pretty clear that she’s in the lead for consideration of being the anti-Christ regardless of her most recent advertisements. However, all that doesn’t even bother me. I am bothered that I’m not only supposed to have even the slightest fucking idea what a keffiyeh is, but that I should be made very angry whenever someone might wear something similar. I guess I better make sure I put a US flag pin on my lapel tomorrow, in case the absence of it proves to everyone that I’m a hardcore communist sympathizer.

True or not, I don’t know.

The brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime. Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine runups, prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The date was November 15, 2007.

And after a stunning display of technical prowess (seriously, read the story), they did this:

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown, for there has been a news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere. Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to Moslem Arabs. Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Around here, at least, there have been numerous commercials both on TV and radio for a product called LifeLock. LifeLock is supposed to help prevent identity theft and pay you if it fails. The commercials include the founder/owner guy giving out his social security number as measure of his confidence in his program. The TV commercials also include the claim that the service will help end junk mail and unsolicited credit card offers. One woman on the commercial then says, and I paraphrase, “it’s worth the price even if it just stops the junk mail.” I think I’ve written about it before (but I can’t seem to find the post), but the ending of junk mail, at least the credit card offers, is free. Well I’ve just learned through Overlawyered that class action lawsuits against LifeLock are firing up.

Per the Oakland Tribune, the founder’s identity isn’t as safe as he likes to make it seem.:

Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.

Now, Lifelock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn’t work as promised and he knew it wouldn’t, because the service had failed even him.

[Attorney] Paris noted that LifeLock charges $10 a month to set fraud alerts with credit bureaus, even though consumers can do it themselves for free.

But Davis stands by his company and his advertising gimmick, which has appeared in newspapers and on billboards, radio and MTV. He even broadcasts it by bullhorn on walking tours through crowded downtowns.

It’s not just TV, it’s MTV.

The lawsuits, for which Paris is seeking class-action status, highlight the fundamental limits on how much security identity-theft companies can provide.

Companies like LifeLock can help guard against only certain types of financial fraud by helping consumers set up alerts with credit bureaus, which inform them when someone tries to open a new line of credit or boost their credit limit to finance a buying binge, for example.

The services don’t guard against many types of identity theft such as use of a stolen Social Security number on a job application. [sic] or for medical services, or even the instance of an arrestee giving police a stolen Social Security number to shield his own identity.

LifeLock is also being sued in Arizona over its $1 million service guarantee, which the plaintiffs claim is misleading because it only covers a defect in LifeLock’s service, and in California by the Experian credit bureau. Experian accuses LifeLock of deceiving consumers about the breadth of its protection and abusing the system for attaching fraud alerts to credit reports.

Clearly feeling inspired by John Edwards, Congress has determined that the solution to all of our problems is the lack of ability to sue.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The House of Representatives overwhelmingly approved legislation on Tuesday allowing the Justice Department to sue OPEC members for limiting oil supplies and working together to set crude prices, but the White House threatened to veto the measure.

The bill would subject OPEC oil producers, including Saudi Arabia, Iran and Venezuela, to the same antitrust laws that U.S. companies must follow.

The measure passed in a 324-84 vote, a big enough margin to override a presidential veto.

The legislation also creates a Justice Department task force to aggressively investigate gasoline price gouging and energy market manipulation.

“This bill guarantees that oil prices will reflect supply and demand economic rules, instead of wildly speculative and perhaps illegal activities,” said Democratic Rep. Steve Kagen of Wisconsin, who sponsored the legislation.

Because the Congress never does anything that blocks supply and demand. Nope. Never. They never offer subsidies to American farmers for ethanol. They never impose tariffs on imports. They never threaten to steal for oil companies for having the gall to make too much money. Nor would they ever go so far as to prevent American oil companies from producing American oil. No no no. Congress are the purest of free traders.

Gutless asshats.

Through no wish or desire of my own, I just recently found myself in need of spending money. My car, ahem, my American car developed a new problem last Friday. I’m learning the lesson that just when I think nothing else can go wrong, it is me who is wrong. The new problem is a busted power window switch. The switch broke and therefore the drivers side window won’t go down. It’s a bit of a nuisance since I have to swipe a card to get into my parking garage at work. Anyway, I got the problem fixed today, but I’m wondering if I behaved in the way that best stimulates the economy.

The first option I had was to address the problem immediately head less than a mile from my office to Jkoons Pontiac and let them fix it. However, those guys are ass-ramming uncle fuckers, so I stayed away from them. But I could have probably spent 1/3rd of my tax rebate on this option.

The second option was to wait until Saturday when I was in Charlottesville. There I could contact local dealership, attempt to buy the part, and then proceed to install it myself. I did just that. An early morning phone call went through and I was told that the part had to be ordered and that it would cost approx. $120, or 20% of my rebate.

The third option was to count on ye-olde internet. And I say “ye-olde” because the GM parts subsidiary, AC Delco, is clearly trapped in the year 2001. Their website is nothing short of grotesque horribleness. Not only was the site difficult to navigate and understand, it also did not associate the part I needed with my car. It was only through other websites that I found the proper part number. But that’s ok, too, because the AC Delco site is in such a sad state that it wouldn’t even let me attempt to add things to a cart so that I could be told how much they wanted to charge me. Anyway, I finally found the part listed on Amazon. I ordered it and first-day shipping. All totaled, AC Delco part from Amazon cost about $60, or only 10% of my rebate.

Let me quickly offer GM congratulations for designing a system free of outside middle-men that makes things twice as expensive.

So, through this whole process, I managed to spend the least amount of money. The American assholes at JKoons didn’t get any cents from me. Nor did the undoubtedly useless and brain dead Americans who work at the dealership in Charlottesville. And, to make matters worse, the part I installed was made in Mexico. Clearly, I’m a bad American and bad for the economy.

PS - Not 30 minutes after I ordered the window switch, I noticed that the power lock mechanism in the passenger door quit working.