Nobrainer’s Think Tank

Over the weekend, Rachel and I went to Ohio to visit my family. Here’s one thing I learned.

It is apparently not difficult to fly without photo identification. It also appears that proper identification isn’t at all “required” for getting through security or onto a plane. It only affects how well you are screened in security. From United:

All passengers 18 and older are required to present valid and unexpired government-issued photo identification (federal, state or local). For example: driver’s license or passport. All customers must carry government-issued identification with them at all times and may be asked to show identification during boarding.

Sounds pretty concrete, right? Well it continues:

If you do not have government-issued photo identification, two forms of identification are required:

1. Non-photo government identification. For example: a voter registration card or social security card.
2. Credit card or birth certificate

You should be asking yourself, “are you fucking serious? A voter registration card?!”

Even that isn’t the whole story.

Customers without proper identification may be subject to additional security screening procedures.

Translation: “we don’t give a fuck and we can’t believe that you do, either.” I really love that they use the word “may” as opposed to something even a little bit more definite like “will.”

The TSA’s website, at least, throws in the “will.”

We encourage each adult traveler to keep his/her airline boarding pass and government-issued photo ID available until exiting the security checkpoint (children are not required to show identification). The absence of proper identification will result in additional screening.

… not that I can actually find on their website clear language spelling out the identification requirements or rules (other than a few press releases which claim there is a requirement).

So here’s the story of what I experienced.

We flew from Dulles. I checked in online as I always do. I checked a bag and proceeded to the security line, which due the curious use of snakes at Dulles only took about 30 seconds to get through. Then, in the 60 seconds between getting past the end of the line and going through the metal detector my drivers license disappeared into the thin fucking air. Clearly I wasn’t too worried about flying to Ohio at this point (although I would have been doubly pissed if I knew then that my flight was going to be about 3 hours late and that the flight time would be increased by 30 minutes due to some kind of landing gear sensor error, but I digress).

Now, if I still had an Ohio driver’s license, I would have simply gone to the BMV and gotten a new copy. But I’m a certified Virginia Resident now, so that wasn’t an option and I knew I would be at the mercy of the airline and security staffs at Dayton. I did do some research to try to figure out what I was supposed to do. Some bloggers basically said that ID isn’t required but that extra security screenings will occur.

Sunday we were scheduled to fly back from Dayton to Dulles. I didn’t have my mighty voter registration card. Nor did I have my social security card because I finally listened to all the people who told me that I should never carry it. (Although this adds reason for me to finally get my passport renewed.) At the check-in counter I openly disclosed my lack of proper ID, but said that I did have a university ID. The university ID wouldn’t fly, I was told, and that I would get extra security scrutiny and the SSSS mark. (If SSSS is printed on your boarding pass, you get the extra security treatment, a fact I learned after reading a post which I think was linked off of the Orange Yeti). Also, my boarding pass was put into an orange sleeve printed with black esses. Perhaps they’ve had issues with their security screeners not noticing the SSSS on the boarding pass?

I should also note that, at check-in, they didn’t check anything. At least, not that I recall. I don’t think I gave them anything other than my name.

I proceeded to security. At the check point I was told that, in fact, any ID from a state university constituted sufficient identification. I agreed with her that things should be that way. Shouldn’t a state university count as, at least, a local government? Such a student ID is surely better than a voter registration card. And let’s be honest, it has to be at least as good as any ID issued by any local government.

With that hurdle cleared, I proceeded to the x-rays and metal detectors. The screeners there were not at all impressed with my university ID nor the explanation from the other worker that said it was OK. So they pulled me aside. They checked my bag. They patted me down.

And that was it.

That’s how easy it was to get on an airplane without proper identification.