It’s profanity-laced tirade time here at Nobrainer’s Think Tank. Don’t worry, this one is pretty succinct. In fact this opening paragraph is being added just so that people who read the RSS feeds may possibly be spared some of my vulgar, immature, and overblown reaction to one of life’s common but more intolerable problems: bad drivers.
Ok. I think that’s enough filler. The tirade follows in the continuation.
MAZOOM is the vanity license plate of a jackass Virginia driver.
Here are some tips for today’s shitty driver.
- When turning, look both goddamn ways.
- More specifically, when turning right on red, yield to oncoming, left-turning traffic that has a green arrow.
- Hint: the red car you refused to look at with the horn blowing that was 15 feet from T-Boning your car and plowing into the driver’s side door is me. A lesser driver may have not seen you and caused great damage to your vehicle. A lesser person might have hit you, been amused by your side curtain airbags, then beat you senseless with the closest available blunt object.
- When driving like a total fucking moron, don’t do it with an easy to remember vanity plate.
- When being a mid-life crisis hipster dumbass disobeying simple traffic laws, do not cut off people who have old, shitty cars. Such people often have little to live for and may be unstable and prone to violence.
- Zipping around town through traffic saved you exactly zero time. Congratulations for operating on the same mental wave-length as a 16 year-old pubescent dipshit.
That’s enough for today’s lesson.
Eat a dick.
Sincerely,
- Nobrainer
PS. Your tires are almost bald (as I assume your head is) which makes you an even greater hazard on the road.
