Nobrainer’s Think Tank

After my brief complaint was posted yesterday and seconded by A.O., the powers that be in network television listened to our powerful words and acted strongly in our favor…

After a grueling nine-hour meeting involving Cosby, her agent and top NBC News and MSNBC execs, the third-rated cable news network announced that her weeknight show, “Rita Cosby: Live & Direct,” will be canceled in early July.

before farting in our general direction…

Instead she’ll be the “primary anchor” of “MSNBC Investigates,” a taped documentary program that will air at 10 and 11 p.m. She’ll also lead a “Rita Cosby Specials” documentary unit, according to an MSNBC press release.

and taunting us a second time…

“This is an exciting opportunity, and now you’re going to see even more of me at 10 and 11, on MSNBC and also on NBC.”

Come on here GE. You’re the parent company. Can’t you step in and say somehow involve her in an accident with one of your new, evironmentally–and soon-to-be tv ratings–friendly locomotives? It doesn’t have to be a horrendous train accident per se. But I do know that you have enough engineers to come up with a creative solution to the Rita Cosby problem.

Today’s test: Old Mach3 cartridges vs brand new ones.

Setup: Prior to shaving, I took a shower, washed my face, and then kept it wet before moving on to shaving. I applied Edge “extra protection” advanced gel. I then shaved the right side of my face with weeks old cartridges and the left with brand new ones. Pressure applied to the razor was kept to a minimum. I finished by rinsing with cold water and patting my skin dry. After the initial results, I went back over my beard in the dry condition with the new razor before applying Nivea revitalizing lotion Q10.

Results: Neither side of my face was particularly smooth against the grain, although the left side was slightly better. A close visual examination confirmed that neither side looked good either, thus prompting the second dry effort.

I’ve wondered about it before. Now the verdict is in. My shaving needs improvement and in a big way.

I’m reconsidering everything.

I think I need to look at this scientifically, but before I try anything and everything under the sun, I figured search the web and ask my dear readers for their advice.

My current routine involves a Mach3 and Edge shaving gel after I exit the shower — with nothing going against the grain. The routine is basically effective; the previous day’s growth is gone. However, my face feels like sandpaper if I rub against the grain. That’s good enough for me, but somebody says my beard is irritating her skin.

In the past, I started with the 2-blade Sensor. I’m honestly not sure now if the Mach3 is any better. I also used a Norelco for a while. I hated that thing. If there’s a really good electric, I want a mass of glowing user testimonials from guys I know with beards worse than mine.

Where to go from here?

(more…)

Somewhere in the history of man, we created the words “aunt” and “uncle”, thus saving ourselves from having to say “dad’s brother” or “mom’s sister” or whatnot.

For some reason we still use father-in-law, or mother-in-law, etc. I’m also getting sick of phrases like “girlfriend’s parents”.

Surely we can do better. Let’s save some syllables and make some new words. Any suggestions?

“We won’t hesitate to carry out extreme action to bring Gilad back to his family,” Olmert declared.*

I’m watching my lone cable news network–and a quality one at that: MSNBC–in hopes of seeing live coverage of Israel’s offensive against the Palestinians.

The Israelis have bombed bridges and power plants. They had their air force buzz the summer home of the Syrian president:

The flyover was the second time Israel has buzzed Assad’s summer palace. In August 2003, warplanes reportedly flew so low that windows in the palace shattered. At the time, Israel said the flyover was aimed at pressuring Assad to dismantle Palestinian militant groups based in his country.

They have made incursions into southern Gaza, and are poised to do the same in northern Gaza if they have not done so already.

And the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades say they’ve fired a chemical weapon at Israel.

My short-term reaction is this: I hope the Israelis open a major can of kosher whoop-ass in the Middle East, and I’d like to see it live on television if possible.

But instead of some good old-fashioned ass-kicking, MSNBC has plenty of coverage of floods, Star Jones, and Jon Benet Ramsey. And they have Rita Cosby. Yippee. I’d be better off reading Harry Potter.

Snopes is a mythbusting, urban legends reference page. If you’ve never heard of it, check it out. The reason, is that you probably mindlessly repeat some interesting tidbits, or “facts”, or pieces of convetional wisdom that are entirely untrue.

Example: Throwing rice at weddings shouldn’t be done because it kills the little birds who eat it. False.

“It’s a myth. There is no reason why birds, including small songbirds, can’t eat rice,” said Ned Johnson, a professor of biology at Berkeley who lectures frequently on the food and feeding of birds.

Example: Sorority houses are illegal due to old laws which deems them to be brothels (a common rumor around Clemson). False.

We routinely hear from students who are convinced their particular university lacks a sorority because of this non-existent law. Their vehemence aside, none have yet produce a copy of the statute they so firmly believe in, an act that would earn their city and institution of higher learning a measure of fame in the world of contemporary lore.

Example: Eating turkey, in particular, makes people tired. False. (I did not know that, and I learned something.)

Turkey does contain tryptophan, an amino acid which is a natural sedative. But tryptophan doesn’t act on the brain unless it is taken on an empty stomach with no protein present, and the amount gobbled even during a holiday feast is generally too small to have an appreciable effect.

Claim: “An American flag should be burned if it has been allowed to touch the ground.” False.

Well I was looking to finish by adding a good urban legend that was actually true. And I failed miserably.