1/6/2006

Stupid Stupid Stupid
Filed under: General — nobrainer @ 2:16 pm

“You never know what’s on the mind of young kids - some of them are pretty smart,” he said.

Some “smart” kid in Missouri has suggested that in order to curb drunk driving, stores should not be allowed to sell cold beer.

“The only reason why beer would need to be cold is so that it can be consumed right away,” Alter, who has been a police offer [sic] for more than 20 years, said Thursday.

He said the idea came from a fifth-grade student in Jefferson County who was participating in a program to teach elementary students about state government. He sought their suggestions for new laws and chose the cold beer ban from a list of the top three ideas.

This is why making legislation for sake of making legislation is STUPID STUPID STUPID!

And this was the best idea from a list. Holy shit!

How many people actually go to the store, pick up some cold brew, drink it immediately, and become dangerously drunk?

If you are drinking while you are driving, you’re going to have to be driving for a freaking while before you develop enough of a buzz to be legally drunk.

If you’re already legally drunk, warm beer probably won’t bother you.

Even then, the people he apparently wants to stop, are people who want to get drunk while they are driving. To accomplish this mission there are many alternatives. One could take shots of liquor, or mix liquor with ice and cola, or drink wine, or keep cold beer at home, or drink warm beer, or drink listerine.

It’s bad enough that we let politicians make laws on their own without bringing in 10 year-olds.

collapse Trickey Says:

Well, look at the bright side….stunts like this make South Carolina look smarter.

 
collapse Bear Says:

I actually know a guy in South Carolina whose hot button issue is this exact one. He will not vote for or support any political candidate that does not support a bill that would make it illegal to sell cold beer. This idea has been around for a while and unfortunatly South Carolina will probably be the first state to make the law if it ever happens.

collapse nobrainer Says:

In that case, I will have to give credit to states like Ohio where cold beer can be purchased at a drive-thru.

 
collapse Evan Says:

Any vehicle that can move faster than 35 miles per hour is allowed on South Carolina roads. Also, there are no vehicle inspections in South Carolina and you can get a driver’s license with your eyes closed. I’d point to vehicle safety and driver training as areas to improve before I’d start mandating warm beer. But what do I know?

collapse nobrainer Says:

Does it have to move faster than 35 MPH on land?

 
 
collapse Trickey Says:

My bad. We’re dumb as usual. Cheers to Lousiana by the way for drive-thru daquiri stands. The daquiris are served in styrofoam cups with fast food lids and the straw has not yet pierced the lid–therefore no “open containers.”

 
 
collapse Wha Says:

Um, I beg to differ on the legally drunk part and caring about the warm beer, but that’s just me and my silly reasoning. I personally think it is a fine idea. First, if the beer is warm, you don’t have to worry about it warming and skunk it. Two, if you want beer cold quickly you will do one of a few things: Bring a cooler and buy ice to chill it ASAP. Buy a cooler and ice to acomplish the same. Either way, we are boosting the economy a touch, especially in times of festivities. I would also be more prone to buy lots of beer that I could store somewhere other than my fridge when sales occur. Having beer on hand would possibly prevent some (not necessarily me) from buying liquor as it stores more easily. From an economic stand point they may be on to something. Funding for the studies to prove or disprove: it’s what democrats do best. I urge the Republicans to get behind the big business brewers to fund it.

 
collapse Evan Says:

Beer skunks if it spends too long in light or exposed to harsh temperatures. And room temperature is *not* ideal.

Budweiser has an FAQ on freshness.

And this guy seems to know a lot about beer:

Try to keep the temperature as constant as possible. Variations are likely to do irreparable damage. A constant 20º C or even 25º C is better than frequent changes of a few degrees. This is especially true of bottles containing yeast, which will have its action disrupted. It can be useful to store at a higher temperature to deliberately mature the beer more quickly.

Keep it in the dark. Light can cause all sorts of unpleasant chemical reactions in beer, especially if the brewer has been silly enough to use a clear glass bottle. The traditional brown glass wasn’t an accident. It was chosen because it gave the most protection.

Avoid unnecessary disturbance. Beer likes to be left in peace and can react unpleasantly to rough handling. The yeast is doing an important job, perhaps even years after leaving the brewery, and you won’t help it by shaking the bottle around.

 
collapse Bear Says:

Just a helpful tip from the Myth Busters… the best way to get hot beer cold, quickly is to drop the beer in a mixture of ice, water, and salt. It took no time cool the beer down in that mixture.

Burying beer in sand then pooring gas over the sand and lighting that gas on fire does not cool the beer. That myth was busted.

 
collapse Steve Says:

Ummm, so what do with whisky and other hard liquors to stop people from buying a bottle and doing shots as they’re driving down the road.

I live in Missouri. This dolt will be hearing from me.

 
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