Nobrainer’s Think Tank

I rolled into Charlotte around 5 last night. I’m set to roll out in 10-15 minutes. In a few hours I’ll get to see my lady down in Charleston. That bit of good news must be what’s keeping me going this morning because when I awoke around 9 I felt worse than the guy who sand-papered the asshole of an alligator in a phone booth.

Three of us went through over half a handle of Jack (there were 3 full ones in the apartment at the start of the night) before we even went out. Details? Who needs ‘em?!

And since pretty much everyone here is asleep/passed out, I’m putting my muchas gracias here.

Ole!

• Clemson VS Colorado in the Champs Sports Bowl tonight at 5PM Eastern on ESPN. Yeah, I’m excited. The line has been bouncing around between 8 and 11 points in Clemson’s favor, but 10 seems to be about the consensus.
• I’m doing well with my bowl picks. I wish Akron had nailed another field goal, but what can you do? It looks like almost everyone else with a clue is doing just as well as me though.
• My good mood over the last several weeks was shattered by news this morning from my dentist that I have a cavity. This is the first one in well over 10 years.
• After some consideration of recent pictures I’ve seen on Facebook, however, I’m still kicking some serious ass in life. Bad and down years for me are better than 90% of people’s best years.
• Part of my Christmas loot was a new digital camera. Expect some gnome and dog-blogging in the future.
• Otherwise I’ve been reading quite a bit of the last few days. I’m about 2/3 through Hitchens’s book about Thomas Jefferson. As well I’m about 1/4 into Still Roaring, the Jim Phillips (auto)biography. The Jefferson book is good, but I’m itching to finish it so I can move on more fully to Phillips’s. I also received A Walk in the Woods (thanks for the recommendation, Funk), and South Park Conservatives. What’s more, I think my brother bought me Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. I’ll find out tomorrow for sure.
• The gnome and I head out on Friday. We’ll be in Charleston on Saturday and back in Hooville by Tuesday.

That is all.

Nobrainer

or sheep. or some type of animal that just follows the pack without thinking.

My latest evidence was gathered during my trip home, during which I pass through two toll plazas. At the first plaza, there were 6 lanes open. At the first plaza all the other cars went to the same 4 lanes, lining up 4 and 5 cars deep. Brilliant, free-thinking guy that I am, I went through the open lanes which had no lines.

About 20 minutes later I got to the 2nd plaza. Same thing happened.

You gotta love the group mentality.

Moooo!

How the hell did it get here so quickly? I find myself thoroughly unprepared. Today’s forecast calls for sunshine and shopping. With luck I’ll find gifts for my parents. Then sometime after Christmas I’ll finally buy Christmas presents for my friends that I won’t see until New Years.

Anyway, yesterday’s trip home was pretty uneventful. I realized that I hate Starbucks because of its other customers. I was stuck in a 10 minute line that had 5 people in it so that I could get a cup of, as Denis Leary says, “coffee flavored coffee.” Aside from some classically bad drivers, everything went well.

One pet peeve, often perpetrated by other drivers is the “speed-up slow-down but always try to match.” When they see me close in within 20 yards, they speed up…. until we reach additional traffic which means that I can’t pass. Then they slow down to the speed limit or slower. Fortunately most members of society understand this concept.

Hopefully in the next few days I’ll be able to post some more petty, nonsensical rants. Until then, always remember to finish your

going fifty-five miles an hour with the headlights on and the horn blowin’.

Actually I’m kidding. I don’t drive a van and I didn’t manage to lay claim to some fresh bambi burgers, but the deer made one hell of a suicide run out of it. The lead deer distracted me, diverting my attention to the left side of the road. It did so in a way that I couldn’t even tell what it was. Deer number two then jumped in front of my car from the right side — missed it by about a foot.

Those are elusive little creatures there.

On a truck outside Wal-Mart: “Q Z SUE”. I like the rearrangement.

On a car on campus: “WUTITIZ”. I think it is supposed to be like “what it is.” I, however, read “woo! titties!”

Cheers,

Nobrainer