I mentioned this over the weekend to someone, and I want to run with it. At some point in the Wal-Mart history, they added a full grocery section and created the Super Wal-Mart. They shouldn’t stop there. They should keep upgrading and invent the Uber Wal-Mart.
I would like to offer up some ideas that will help take Wal-Mart to the uber level.
In the new uber-parking lots, I want to see mobile home sales with samples and demos. Typical Wal-Mart cut-throat prices will be requisite. As an additional fun step, the Wal-Mart Mobile Home and Trailer Park can be built all around the store. The customer base won’t even have to drive to the store — perfection!
Don’t forget to throw in uber child care. Build a big pen to corral all the yapping little shits. Give them all a good delousing. Even throw in standard shots and medical care that their parents are probably too ignorant to take care of on their own. It’ll keep them out of the store and make people like me a bit happier. Plus you can provide the kids with all the coolest toys in their pen that they will then demand their parents buy for them.
Let’s take it a step further. Creater Uber Wal-Mart schools. Provide sufficient education for cheap and allow consumer choice. Upon graduation, they can attend Uber Wal-Mart U. Of course, the more upscale kids will attend Target U., but that’s the point of competition. The preppy Target U. kids can play the redneck Wal-Mart U. kids in football. It will be a grand rivalry.
I can’t wait. The future will be bright!
IF they all live next door, then the current gas stations will be rendered useless, unless of course the neanderthaws can be convinced to buy gas to run the geenrators they bought at the Wal-MArt, while Wal-Mart sucks all hteir extra power into a substation running their store. Essentially they get paid to stay open and sell more junk. I guess when I think about it, it’s a great idea, and it keeps all the dewey’s that shop there from having to drive. What a concept.