How this didn’t end with a Darwin Award nomination, I’m not quite sure.
SEMINOLE, Fla. — An Illinois man was arrested after trying to steal a weapon from a gun shop so he could “take some action and rescue Terri Schiavo (search),” authorities said.Michael W. Mitchell (search), of Rockford, Ill., entered Randall’s Firearms Inc. in Seminole just before 6 p.m. Thursday with a box cutter and tried to steal a gun, said Marianne Pasha, a spokeswoman for the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office…
Randy McKenzie, the owner of Randall’s Firearms, said Mitchell pulled out the box cutter and broke the glass on a couple of display cases.
“He told me if I wasn’t on Terri’s side then I wasn’t on God’s side, either,” McKenzie told The Associated Press.
McKenzie said he then pointed his own gun at Mitchell and ordered him to lie on the ground. But Mitchell fled out the store’s back door before police arrived, he said.
Mitchell was later arrested in a parking lot and was scheduled to appear in court Friday. He was being held on $125,000 bond on charges of attempted armed robbery, aggravated assault and criminal mischief, officials said.
Note to the criminally inclined and intelligence impaired: don’t use a lesser weapon as a means to steal a greater weapon. Your odds of death are likely greater than your odds of success.
