Nobrainer’s Think Tank

I cleaned over an inch of snow off my car this morning. (For those doing the math, yes I was cleaning off my car around 6:15 this morning.) The various weather services indicate that Charlottesville could receive anywhere between 4 and 14 additional inches of snow. Maybe I’ll get stuck on campus all day and all night… won’t that be fun?

This Newstracker Nobrainer Weather Report has been brought to you by the letter “x”. “Xperience marketing success. Xpose your lack of creativity. Join the xcess. Make your product xtreme!”

• Does the college class of 2008 like watching Seinfeld?
• If you use Firefox, which you should, don’t forget to download the DictionarySearch extension. Once you have it, make sure you tweak the options. With it, I can select any word, or sometimes phrase, in Firefox and look for synonyms via thesaurus.com or definitions from dictionary.com, urbandictionary.com, or google.
• I went to the shop today to buy a couple more young tiger barbs for my aquarium, but they only had one full grown adult. I’ll have to go back later, I guess. I think I’m also going to add some type of a catfish or two as the aquarium could use a scavenger to help keep it clean.
• After my anti-union rant, I find this:
  - Standing Up to ‘Sweetheart Deal’ Cost Him a Job - Thanks for the link, Dad
  - And, according to a flyer someone put under my windshield wiper while I was parked in a university parking garage there exists the SUUVA/CWA (Staff Union at the University of Virginia/Communications Workers of America). The flyer emphasizes my right to join a union… I’d like to emphasize that my car feels violated, and I have a lawyer who thinks a suit is justified. Honestly, though, law students I want your advice on how to fight this union and their junk. “Whenever anybody tries to hand me a flier, it’s kind of like they’re saying, ‘Here, you throw this away.’” - Mitch Hedberg
• I’m trying the new Budweiser Select. Well, it’s beer, and it’s not repulsive. I’ll remember it whenever I want to count calories and not appear as sophisticated as one who drinks Mich Ultra.
• SpamKarma finally let me down. I had a couple trackback spams that were blocked by my WordPress options, but 3 comments just recently go through. I imagine the URL and IP will soon be recognizable and easily blocked. It goes to show that no technology is perfect. For future reference, if you wish to post a comment with the word “orgy” you may be denied. And I have yet to upgrade to WordPress 1.5 yet. I am slack.
• For those of you who have registered with the site, I have granted you sufficient privileges to post. For any of my friends who have yet to register, I still encourage you to join in and voice your opinions

UC Sucks

All day long Drudge has had this picture of Condi Rice:

Each time I see it I think of the first song on Cake’s Fashion Nugget CD.

the lyrices to “Short Skirt, Long Jacket”:

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what’s best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack,
She is playing with her jewelry, she is putting up her hair
She is touring the facility
and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough and sharp as a tack,
She is touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooong,
loooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket

Nananananananananananananananananana

I want a girl with smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At Citi Bank we will meet accidently
We will start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cup holder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She is changing her name from Kitty to Karen
She is trading her MG for a white, Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket

Nananananananananananananananananana

I actually don’t think that Cake had envisioned this.

I go to the store when ___________________________.

Drink some extra for me this weekend. I easily have 24 hours of work to do this weekend.

Cheers!

I was just reminded of this topic. It previously slipped my mind. Here goes…

Earlier this week (I think it was this one) I caught the end of CSI: Miami (?). No matter, I’ve watched the show a few times. It’s not bad. I really don’t care for the red-headed guy. He looks like Opie but has some uber-cool schtick. Well I’m not buying it.

But I digress. The end of this last episode was abso-fucking-lutely lame! I don’t know the context of it, but the final chase was on the everglades in a bunch of airboats. Does this remind anyone else of Police Academy 5?

Well the airboats seemed weak to me, but it is out of the norm. Of course it might make too much sense to have the choppers follow the guy if he wants to play in the swamp. But hey, I’m not a TV cop, so what do I know about horrible logic.

Unfortunately that didn’t keep the people on the boats from firing enormous rounds of ammunition, despite being unable to reload their weapons.

This, though, was one time when no one was able to hit anything. (”I watched a shoot out on tv at POINT. BLANK. RANGE. Nobody got hurt.” Ron White)

Well as everyone is airboating around and shooting wildly, at what must be best described as “nothing in particular”, they start showing shots of some wildfire burning up ahead. This must have somehow worked into the story. I don’t know.

The regular special effects guys must have been on vacation because I’ve seen scarier fires controlled in my house!

Finally the bad guy stops his boat near this wall of fire. He’s cornered. Or is he? He bursts through the flames TO FREEDOM!

Or not. They switch to the new scene where the criminal’s charred remains are found.

If you get the chance to see how poorly this whole thing was put together, don’t. Don’t waste your time. If you want to waste your time I’ll find more BS to put up here.

Finally