Nobrainer’s Think Tank

Going the route of many main-stream media types, especially those in the op-ed departments, I’m going to steam roll through an opinion that may have no factual basis whatsoever.

There are hundreds of thoughts that run through my mind whenever I hear simpletons decry the “lies” that George Bush used to take our country to war. The war was obviously a rousing success at securing cheap oil for over-sized and under-effecient SUVs. Halliburton is set up pristinely on the world stage as the most loved country in the world. Or they should consider the George Costanza policy: “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” Maybe W is just as stupid as some believe (of course this really doesn’t say much for Harvard or Yale). I mean if he is going to completely fabricate a justification for war all on his own, why the heck wouldn’t he bother to plant some WMDs to keep everyone happy?

But I’m taking a new tact in the world of speculation. I’ll admit that Bush did lie. However, he did it in a way to remarkably help his own foreign policy. How so you ask? Consider that pesky oil filled country intent on developing a nuclear program called Iran (why exactly they need nuclear power is of course an interesting question primed for speculation). Let’s focus on what we do know about them. They would love to invade Iraq. I seem to remember a war between the two countries about 20 years ago. So IF the UN was successful and they proved that Iraq was disarmed, what’s to keep quasi-nuclear-power Iran out of Iraq? The possibility of Iraqi WMD may have been the only thing to keep Iran from taking what they wanted. Without that possibility Iraq seems ripe for the taking.

Who would then defend Iraq? Maybe the French and Russians would stand up against such a transgression, but it’s too much of the old “my enemy’s enemy is my friend.” That theme has run it’s course and the world is sick of it. Besides, does anyone actually trust the French (or for that matter even the Russians) to plan and operate an efficient military campaign?

So by maneuvring to beat Iran to the punch, W has now moved to place friendlier democracies on either side of Iran. Despite the potential hazards W has placed before him in American politics, he has laid an impressive groundwork for stabilizing the Middle East. Despite what John Kerry may be saying to win election this November, W has accomplished much more than anyone realizes, and any liberal will admit.

Remember, in head-to-head confrotations, war beats peace every time.

As usual, the folks at the Weekly Standard have been producing some great work. If you decide to buy me something for Christmas, a subscription to the Weekly Standard would be great.

But let me return to the point at hand. Trial lawyers are making the country more dangerous for the normal people that live here. Apparently it all goes back to a concept called “liability without fault”. I’m not exactly sure what that means. It sounds like an oxymoron to me. Companies are at fault even if nothing goes wrong. But to summarize, vaccine makers get no credit for saving lives. Whenever there’s an adverse reaction to a vaccine (which there will be), they can expect to be sued and have a lot of money taken from them. Does this sound like a lose-lose situation to you? It should. It is. There’s nearly no reason to be a producer of vaccines.

Hopefully today’s lawyers will sue yesterday’s lawyers for destroying an industry… as well as people’s lives.

I’ve just passed another 60 hours of craziness. I offer everyone congratulations for not getting arrested.

I’m tired and somewhat busy, so I’ll just end with some words I once heard: “my head hurts, my feet stink, and I don’t love Jesus.”

Due to some minor convincing, I am pleased to announce that I will be in attendance at Homecoming this week. I can’t wait to see the new Esso, and to chug as much beer everywhere as humanly possible. Maybe I’ll even see a good football game with a happy ending.

Someone please send me an email early next week to tell me what happened this weekend.

One last reminder: Vote Quimby!

Ok that may not be literal, but his policies make it appear that way.

I did not know that he has a 20% by 2020 plan. The goal there is for American fuel to consist of 20% ethanol by 2020. Assuming that the grain alcohol would come from corn (as is most common and cheapest), then America’s farmers will only have to produce about 18 billion bushels of corn. Of course this year’s bumper crop will only produce about 11 billion bushels.

John Kerry: wrong man, wrong time, wrong place.

At lunch time today I made an interesting self-discovery. I was making a turkey sandwich (while thinking about Mitch Hedberg turkey jokes), and I decided that I wanted mustard on that sandwich. This represents a paradigm shift for myself. I’ve never liked mustard. I do now. Moreover, my consumption of mustard is also replacing much of my demand for ketchup.

So is my new propensity for using mustard as a condiment a direct effect of my dislike for John Kerry and his horrible wife?

I don’t know the answer, but I know that my use of ketchup has been almost nil since this year started.

I will end by saying that I promise to not buy any Heinz mustard, either.