Nobrainer’s Think Tank

Yesterday, for the first time in my life I saw two cars with their turn signals on where the signals were flashing simultaneously at the same frequency. It seems like it would happen more often.

I started reading a book called “the Economics of Public Issues.” To some extent, chapter 5 explains why prostitution and drugs should be legalized from an economic standpoint. It occurred to me, that maybe if prostitution were legal and readily available, rape would occur less frequently. There’s a dilemma for the women’s rights organizations. I believe, in this situation, they should support legalized prostitution, because then it is about a woman’s choice. “You can choose to get paid for your effort, or be forced to do it for free.”

eBay can suck a big nut for buying, and deciding to axe half.com. “Fuck you buddy!”

“Did I say nipple?”

One of the dumbass waitresses got fired today for essentially stealing from the country. That will support her son and/or crack habit. There goes some of my taxes to welfare money.

I believe in America, just not Americans.

“BYOP (Bring Your Own Pyrotechnics)”

Was anyone around last year when I created a fireworks malfunction? I swear I won’t load any fireworks upside down and light the fuse this year.

So in my collage of dreams last night, I can vividly remember one bit. I had been charged by someone to kill a guy for being worthless or some such thing. So I was talking to the guy, walking along a path then BOOM! I just choke this guy until he’s lifeless. Gruesome I know. But this is the first time I’ve ever killed someone in a dream. Generally whenever I try to hurt someone, I suddenly become powerless and nothing happens… I guess I’ve accomplished something within the last couple days.

in other news

- Pink Floyd is the best band of all time.

- Ron “Tater Salad” White was on comedy central tonight, and I missed it. I hope they replay it after midnight.

- I found the website of a local comedy club. they don’t have open-mic nights, but they have pro/am nights where amateurs can get 5 minutes on stage. they list about 5 things that will get you promptly removed from the stage. They are taking comedy seriously. Irony? Is that you calling?

- Drink plenty of water, it will reall you a lot of energy to get through the day.

- Pot is all natural. Yeah, but so is poison ivy. Wanna smoke some of that? I dont’ know about you, but I can’t scratch the inside of my lung.

- I think that Darwin would have come to different conclusions if he had travelled to WalMart.

- If you want to wish death upon a fat person you don’t like, is this an appropriate method of dispatch: “i wish she would coat herself in bacon grease and gnaw herself to death”

that’s enough for one night.

1. random thought posts are cool and possibly more thought provoking than single topic posts.

2. anyone driving an SUV should have a minimun legal speed for crossing bumpy railroad Xings and speed bumps. I realized this as I witnessed a half-dozen SUVs cruise over a crossing at about 2.3 mph.

3. Having our kids play sports without keeping score is like allowing wrong letters in the spelling bee

4. i played ohio’s mega-millions lottery game today. i hit the mega million bonus number, and i have $2 coming my way. looks like i get to play again.

5. comedy CDs are a better investment than music CDs. always look out for mitch hedberg, ron white, and rodney carrington.

6. i now hate that i love beer.

7. i hope charlottesville has a comedy club with an open mic. i might prepare a set. if i’m even mediocre, then i’m doing pretty good for an engineer. hell, a serious engineer believing he might be humorous is funny in itself.

8. i finally found the cajones to ask out a cute girl at work. leave it to me to decide to try to start caring 6 weeks before i move to another state. i am man, hear me whimper.

9. local news sucks, i don’t care where you are.

-kerry

Michael Moore still sucks. There is a new book called “Michael Moore is a Big, Fat, Stupid White Man.” This is published by the same people who sent his “Stupid White Men” to print. My favorite quote about him though is: “one of the great sagging blimps of our sorry, mediocre, celeb-rotten culture. Rock the vote, indeed.”

Being as I’m celeb-rotten, I’m sad to hear that Mary-Kate Olsen is in treatment for anorexia. How can someone with that much money forget to eat? Could I really care? No (unless she finds me online and decides that she must meet, marry, and share her millions with me (hey, it’d be just like winning the lottery, but with sex and being the envy of nearly every man in the country)). But why are we so “celeb-rotten”? I believe there are two basic reasons: 1. we believe it’s great to be talentlessly famous, and 2. since we can’t be famous, it’s great to see huge careers crash to the ground.

With time, I will present arguments here on how and why MTV is making America worse. “MTV has done for music what KFC has done for chickens” - Ron “Tater Salad” White (I believe that’s a Ron White quote (Also, Ron will be a guest on the Bob & Tom show Friday morning)).

Good night.

So I often hear people complain about jobs lost. I’ll refer again to Michael Moore. He has a hatred for GM stemming from the removal of a GM plant from his hometown in Michigan. Obviously thousands of jobs were lost. I find views like these are rather short-sighted.

Often, jobs are shed when new technology is created. Imagine Edison touting his new lightbulb, and how people everywhere would soon be getting these electric lights. The candle makers were shaking in their boots. Undoubtedly, tons of people lost work making candles. Of course many more probably picked up jobs making light bulbs.

As well, new technology creates new jobs for people to operate new machines, etc. I will grant that technology can reduce jobs in a certain area, but it also reduces prices. Often that makes things affordable for everyone.

Or jobs are sent overseas, again making things more affordable. Imagine if every part of your computer was made in the USA. Imagine if all the service as domestic. Now imagine how much your computer would cost? It would probably cost twice as much, or be 5 or 10 years behind in technology. Computers, as they are now, seem to be a great example of capitalism at work.

I’ll return to the automotive world… Jobs are shed for a reason. They are uneconomical. Imagine if GM had never closed any plants. Wages would go up, productivity would probably stagnate, and the prices of cars would go up. Assume the Big 3 all acted the same way. Certainly the foreign imports would gain market share as their lower prices and equal quality made an impact on markets. It doesn’t take much imagination to see the downfall that become the industry… Sure the government could tariff the foreign competition. Great, domestic prices would stay high. Cars would probably cost twice as much, and all the jobs are saved. Except now Americans can’t afford all the other things we have such as homes, tvs, radios, etc., etc.

And let’s not blame the investors who demand profit. They are risking their money, without which none of the progress would be possible. Big risk, big reward. That’s just how it works… it’s the same reason why rich people get more money from banks while poor people pay tons of fees and charges.

So if you lose your job, remember that you probably took someone else’s a long time ago. It’s a cycle. If you think that John Kerry, or anyone else who promises a job for everyone is a great man, he’s an idiot or a socialist or both. Ask the USSR how socialism worked for them.

I also can’t believe that Michael Moore is obtaining any fame or time in the spotlight. I’m looking at my watch, and it seems to have been on the 14th minute for quite some time now. I read his interview in Playboy. I was unimpressed with logic. A smart 3rd-grader could probably trip the guy up. Yet the guy is being hailed as brilliant?! From what I can tell the only thing, well two things, keeping the guy afloat are his Hollywood-popular, anti-Bush sentiments and his more-than-adequate supply of blubber. Today I read another great review of his latest work (read it here). Furthermore, Moore is touting that anyone who tries to degrade his “cinematic brilliance” will be kindly slapped with a libel suit. He sounds like someone who holds free speech dearly.

Here we have an Irish-Catholic who hates that the President relies on his faith. He dislikes capitalism because it contrasts with his faith. He hates that the President uses his faith as justification for his beliefs and positions. He believes that things happen because God wants them too, and there’s no reason to argue with God. He believes that he should do everything he can to remove Bush from the White House, and that he shouldn’t have been there to begin with.

Moore hates the stock market. He hates corporate officers who abuse the market for the sake of their own profit. He can’t stand that “the little guy” is so often the victim. But Martha Stewart makes great sheets and her insider trading didn’t hurt anyone. How about “the little guy” who had a bunch of junk shares of Imclone a few days later?

He compares Clinton to the jock in high school who banged the prom queen. He believes all Republicans hate Clinton because they were chess club dorks. If I’m not mistaken, Clinton (at least Bill) has never fooled around with any hot chicks. Although I bet they’re hot in Moore’s opinion who seems to like mannish women.

So why is this guy famous? Why am I writing about him? Why is he a celebrity among celebrities? How long can this go on?

I personally believe that he has no opinion. He only has spur of the moment thoughts. Sure he has moments of brilliance. Who doesn’t? But in a short interview he makes more gaffes than that current President he hates so much. If he thinks Clinton is a jock and Replublicans must have been in the chess club, I am forced to believe he must have been in his own audio/video club where Big Mac’s and over-active imagination ruled the day. In my opinion, the man is a shrewd, yet slimy businessman who will do whatever it takes to keep his name on tv and money flowing into his bank account… Unfortunately there are enough Americans to keep him inflated.