Nobrainer’s Think Tank

Here’s the latest big news from the OG. Some woman is claiming that was kicked out of the store when she started breast feeding her baby. She says her waiter’s name was Rob G., and that she cannot find her receipt because her husband (who is out of town) has it. Part of her story though says that she was forced out (with her food) and did not pay. All this is in conflict with our records. We have no Robs. We also gave no comps that day. Another local store has a Rob G. though. Does anyone think they got the right location? NO!

The better part, is that some group called La Leche League is representing here. One of the people actually called the corporate office and lied to them saying that our manager had confirmed the story.

I now must confirm that I will never be in favor of public breast feeding, as it apparently makes people stupid.

I’m hoping to hear from UVA soon. As you may have seen, I have stated that “UVA’s shit is all apart.” That is someone’s bad translation. The actual meaning is “UVA does not have their shit together.” I have been offered, and already accepted, a graduate teaching position at Clemson. Apaparently, universities have a deal where there is a recognized date, whereby students can resign any position they have previously accepted. This date is April 15th. Clemson told me that I had to accept their offter by April 2nd. So, even though it is not my first choice, I had to take it. Hopefully I will hear from UVA tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Damn, do I miss being on Clemson’s campus when spring starts.

It is Sunday night and I have spent another 8 hours of my life sweating for the OG. Some kid puked on the floor tonight. Fortunately, I did not have to clean it up. I am infinited grateful to my manager for handling that task. However, I would like to berate the general church-going crowd who visits us after Sunday services. If you enter a full-service restaurant knowing that you will not tip at least 10%, please save your money. Ok, that last hint is a general one. Please allow me to get specific. Some people come in, give little or no tip money, and leave a card saying how they can’t tip because their money has to go to the church. If you’re into your church, and they’re doing good things for the world, then by all means donate what you can. However, us hethens at the OG must sustain ourselves on the tips of the customers. If you are so concerned about someone’s welfare that you cannot leave a tip, you are a horribly guided person. You just forsook some else’s welfare while trying to help someone else. Please, if you cannot leave an adequate tip, then FIX YOUR OWN FOOD! You will save a lot more money to give to your charities. Furthermore you will not piss off an entire classification of working people. Additionally, do not expect a damn one of us to care about your causes. Some day I’m going to collect the cards, note the addresses, and show up to berate these people in person, face-to-face. At least some people who don’t tip well really can’t. On occasion, people will visit the OG (the nicest restaurant they have and probably ever will eat at) and leave a small tip. This is still quite upsetting to me. But I will argue that people with excess money leaving shitty tips is infinitely worse.

I had another interesting experience a few days ago. First let me note that there are a few chairs at the OG that are not in tip-top shape. As some of you know, we have fairly nice chairs. They’re well cusioned, decently big, and on casters. (No, we do not race them around the restaurant. Yes, I am often tempted to do so.) Well a couple chairs have a problem with the casters were the whole assembly will fall off if you pick up the chair. This is not a huge problem, as the act of sitting on a chair will not make the assembly fall off. Thursday night I guess this white wannabe black girl manages to discover which chair is fucked up. Whereas a typical person might make a quick fix, or say “pardon me, may I have another chair? This one seems to have a problem.” This girl says (and I wish you could have heard it), “Uhmm, excuuUUUse me. This chair is buhroke.” I was immediately entertained and saddened. Having spent the last 4 1/2 years in a college town, I have not spent enough people who openly admit to having no future. I’m glad that her job as McDonalds is paying for her FUBU gear. I hope that I am someday able to interview someone like her for a job. I hope it’s a good job that she is otherwise qualified for. I hope she really needs the job. I hope I can look her right in the eye and tell her to fuck off.

I in no way insinuate that normal acting people make good employees by default. However, I fail to see the logic in embracing a culture that openly inhibits its own advancement. Ever hear Chris Rock say “even black people hate black people?” It’s true. Nearly every server at the OG, even the black ones, do not like serving black guests. They know from experience that they will probably have to do more work for less money. We are in America. People can and should be able to do what they want. Do not expect me to like you unconditionally. 99% of the time I will consider you to be a moron no matter what your deal is. I will never be a politician because I do not believe in pandering to idiots.

I do believe in profiting from idiots though. I am hopefully that I can market something that no one really needs, but will spend 19.95 on anyway. (By the way, I’m currently working on a project. I’ll keep you all updated. Hopefully similar ideas have not already been patented.)

I believe that for capitalism to really work, some group must be exploited. Currently foreigners are exploited. Fine by me. I wonder how much they are actually being exploited though. They are doing the work through choice. I reckon they could choose to not work at all and have no funding. I am just glad that we are able to buy all kinds of cool shit for pretty cheap. Complain all you want about trade deficits, and outsourced jobs. But realize that without that, everything we buy would probably cost about twice as much. Sure, every American may have a job like that, but what good does it really do? When computers start costing $3,000, cell phones are $1000, etc, how are you going to buy anything?

Consider all the material things we buy in this country. How much would it actually cost for a person to simply survive? Let’s say you can live in a squalid apartment with several roommates. You use just enough heat in the winter to keep the pipes from freezing. You only eat food that you can cook. You give up on taste, and rely on the cheapest foods that provide nourishment. I’d bet that you could easily make it on $3/day for food. Don’t buy any soda or anything, only drink water, and maybe milk. Don’t drink beer. Don’t smoke cigarettes. Maybe you can even ride a bike to work. Maybe you can even work in a restaurant and get enough scraps that you don’t even have to buy food. You share one phone line. You don’t buy cable. Maybe you don’t even watch TV. You read newspapers that people throw away, and you read books at the library for entertainment. I bet you could live on a few thousand dollars per year. Would it be fun? By today’s standards, hell no. Could that be pretty good for a Mexican who faces starvation at home? You bet. I figure some of the guys I work with are making $30,000 per year. I’m betting they split a lot of costs and cut a lot of corners. I bet they ship a lot of that money back to their families. All-in-all, they are pretty fucking happy. I like my material possessions. But, if I don’t buy this stuff, then I’m just saving money. Why do I need money if I don’t want to buy anything? What happens when everyone in America decides they don’t need to buy shit? That could get ugly. I think I will get ahead by limiting the useless purchases and expenditures. However, I will save and save some more. Then when I’m good and old I’m going to buy every fucking thing I want. I want to be rich when I retire, period.

That’s enough for now.

-kneubra

In response to Rochford’s blog: Yes Mars, quite.

Moving on. I have to work today. That would be at the Olive Garden, or OG. Please remember to be nice, clean, and tip generously when you go out to eat. Most of the servers of America are stupid and have too many children. Hopefully their kids will grow up differently, but somehow I doubt it. I always love when these asshats try to tell me, or anyone, how to live my life. I am especially entertained when they actually believe that college is of no value. I tell them that paying for college is the hardest part. I’ve seen some real idiots who have made it through tough programs and are now making pretty decent money. They don’t even have to deal with asshole customers day-in and day-out. These idiots at the restaurant will always point to their one friend, or relative, who is making $30/hr and working 60 hours a week and doing great at life. I’ve concluded that they could make it through college, but they would still be too stupid to know what to do with a college education. Of course to most of them, a college education is a two-year associate’s degree… or beauty college.

What’s even better is hearing them complain about their debt, and how they hate being hounded by bill collectors. They’re obviously not saving any money. One woman, Corinne, has god-knows how many kids. At least they all have the same father. Anyway, she and her kids are always sick and broke. But she smokes. Isn’t that convenient. The reason I hate Democrats is because they support government funding to help these people when they’re old and decrepit. Medicare is all messed up. What’s my plan? I’m going to save for myself. Social security isn’t much better. It’s sad that these people’s retirment plan is to live off their kids and social security. I think social security should only be given to those who outlive the average life expectancy by 5 or 10 years. When the program was initiated by FDR and 65 was the set-age for benefits, the average lifespan was 62. Hmm, makes you think a little. Beyond all that, I plan to work until I’m 70, or maybe 80. They’ll probably have us living until we’re 100. 20 years of retirement will be good enough for me.

I hear a lot of people on tv talk about all the “hungry” people in America. There are millions of them. I think it’s funny that there are millions of Mexicans in America illegally. Somehow they are working shitty jobs, feeding themselves, and are pretty fucking happy to be here. But these “hungry” people are all pissed off that they’re being forgotten. It’s not that I’ve forgotten about them, it’s that I just don’t care. Let me clarify, I believe there should be very limited permanent help for people. Some truly need assistance, without which they would die because it is their only option. I also believe there should be some temporary assistance. Bad things can and do happen to good people. I’ve still got to wonder why some of these folks don’t have a backup plan or two. But I was amazed that many of these “hungry” people are overweight or obese. I actually saw someone defending them. These people may be hungry, but they’re getting enough food. That doesn’t make much sense to me.

I guess I’ll try to bring this all together. Everyone in this country is given free education. I’m pretty sure that in this education teachers give good advice like: stay in school, don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex. I consider this fair warning for everyone. IMO, that should be the government’s “we told you so” card. Sadly this simple, and highly logical advice is often ignored. The government is still at fault no matter what. The stupid make babies faster than the intelligent. Not surprisingly, the stupid make a lot of stupid babies. I don’t think this is a new trend. I don’t think it will ever end. Thus I think the government should but out and let people live their lives how they want to, as long as it doesn’t impact me. And this means, specifically, that the more messed up your life is, the less you should expect from the government.

Nobrainer for President in 2028

I’m following Brad’s lead. This is my first entry, and as usual, the username is kneubra. I must give many thanks to Clemson for generating that collection of vowels and consonants. I am hopeful that I can maintain that same name for any computer system which I may later enter. **NOTE: if you know any of my computer passwords, I hate to inform you that I have created another one for web application. So sorry.

On the upside of things, a continued commitment and dedication to posting my blog should provide ample evidence that I am not fit to become the POTUS (President of the United States). I am not signaling my disapproval of such a position of prestige. I will still gladly serve if elected. However, do not start writing my name on ballots until I’m legally eligible to hold said office.

Have fun.